October 18, 2021 8:23 am

Peace-Loving Muslim Located; Expresses Normal Human Concerns

Noting the way violent and irrational Muslims have dominated the news, while the Muslim masses and, most inexcusably, Muslim clerics have in general remained reticent about the scandalously murderous terrorist talk and the mayhem the lunatics advocate, we decided there must be, among the world’s billion or so Muslims, any number of normal, peace-loving and, on a wild bet, perhaps even modern-minded, acolytes. So we began our tireless search to see if we might find such a rare and wonderful countercurrent to the tide that is sweeping the Muslim religion ever more beyond the shoreline of what sane and civilized people consider blessed.

We’re delighted to tell you that, after an extensive search, we were, in fact, able to locate at least one such exceptional and distinguished soul. Obviously, there may be others out there, but they’re just not being visibly vocal, unless, of course, a cartoon shows up that they decide is offensive.

Where, you may ask, did we find our prize Muslim? Why, in the most appropriate of places – at Ground Zero, where he is employed as an engineer, working on rebuilding the area after the murderous and damnable crimes of 911. He invited us to meet him on the job, just so we could confirm with our own eyes that a Muslim would be involved in such a noble and redemptive construction process.

The following recounts our entirely delightful and encouraging interview with him, which, we hope, inspirits all to think the better of Muslims in general and, most especially, to persuade many another Muslim to follow in his savingly enlightened footsteps.

NewsLaugh: According to the questionnaire you were kind enough complete, you’re a peace-loving Muslim?

Peace-Loving Muslim: Yes, I am.

NewsLaugh: Good for you. We also understand you’re modern-minded.

Peace-Loving Muslim: I am, indeed.

NewsLaugh: Glad you meet you.

Peace-Loving Muslim: Glad to meet you, too.

NewsLaugh: Are you the only peace-loving and modern-minded Muslim or do you think there might be others?

Peace-Loving Muslim: Oh, there are millions of them, I assure you.svgdaily

NewsLaugh: Really? Why don’t we ever hear from them?

Peace-Loving Muslim: Because peace-loving people usually don’t make news. They wake up and do things like go to work and feed the kids.

NewsLaugh: Yes, of course. We’re familiar with such activities ourselves. But why do Muslim clerics so seldom speak out about all the violent activities perpetrated in the name of Islam?

Peace-Loving Muslim: Some do, but I agree, they should be more out there. But you must understand that, since they are peace-loving, they might never shout as loud as Muslims – and I I even hesitate to call the most violent ones by the term Muslims – who aren’t. If you’ll notice, crazy people generally scream, while peaceful people are more like to carry on a conversation, like this one.

NewsLaugh: Yes, of course. But do you think some of them quietly suspect that the monsters perpetrating these crimes are on the side of Allah?

 

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